Getting High?

     My whole life my family has always made getting high seem like it’s a lot worse than it really is. I had expressed my curiosity for marijuana to my family members, who have all done this before. They made it sound like it was a bigger deal than it really is and made me think it was this terrible thing.

     Recently my fiance and I had tried it together, and been doing it once every few days. I thought that it would be a lot different from it really was. I thought that I wouldn’t be able to control myself, that I would see things, and that overall it would be a big deal. It’s nothing like that at all.

    Honestly, I didn’t feel all that different. I feel less anxious about things that are happening, feel more comfortable living in his mom’s house. I also talk, A LOT and come up with a lot of ideas for a novel I’m currently writing. The first night I laughed a lot, at almost everything J or I said was hilarious, though I haven’t gotten like that since the first night. I also don’t feel as picky when I eat, like I was eating chicken, rice, ice cream, fruit punch, milk, and a chocolate cake thing all at once. None of it bothered me and it all tasted sooo good. I never mix foods like that, I always have to eat it completely separately, not when I’m high though.

       J, he gets really relaxed. He does laugh a lot, especially at things I say when I get all chatty. He also eats a lot while high, though he doesn’t really eat differently than he normally does because he isn’t a picky eater like I am. He does focus on things a lot easier when he’s high. He gets really good at his video games when high, especially when we play together, cause I’m to busy to talking to really focus on the game.

     Like I can honestly understand why people want to make it sound bad because they don’t want their family or friends doing drugs and all that. I can get that, but honestly I don’t see the reason why they would lie about that! If you really think about it, it could make things worse if you lie about it. You go into it thinking it’s going to be a lot worse than it really is, and you find out that everyone has lied to you about it, okay… So what if they lied to you about all those other drugs or dangerous things you wanted to try but were scared to do? I can see how some people think this is a gateway drug, because you fucking lie about it to someone their entire life.

      I’m not going to do any other drugs or anything, defiantly not. I know those things really do fuck you up real bad, I watched my dad destroy his life over that stuff. This is so not as bad as my entire family and some of my friends have made it sound. As long as it’s not overdone, like doing it everyday multiple times, it’s honestly not  problem. Obviously I’ll stop doing it once I’m pregnant, I’m going to do the best I can to take care of my body as best as I can once I’m pregnant.

     Now I don’t recommend people to try marijuana, I’m not saying that at all. I don’t think people should go out and try it all the time. It’s just something you have to decide for yourself. It helps me with my anxiety and with my eating problems, I think I’ve even gained some weight since I’ve started, which is very good since I’m slightly underweight again.

     This isn’t a pro-weed post, pro-drugs, pro anything post. This is honestly just my opinion on what I’ve been told and what I’ve experienced. I’m not saying it’s good or bad for you to do, I’m just saying my personal feelings on how it affects my fiance and I. Now I don’t know how it’ll effect you, if you’ll get addicted, or anything like that. Just need to have that clear so no one gets mad at me or anything at all.

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I'm 19, engaged, have aspergers, and I'm​ trying to convince again. I lost my first to a miscarriage. this is my public anonymous diary of my life and journey through a miscarriage and trying to convince.

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