What the hell to my body?

All there’s a really big chance that I’m bout actually pregnant. The only thing I have to say about how I feel about it is, I’m extremely devistated. I was so excited about the baby, and things were starting to get better with money and everything. Maybe this is a good thing though, me not being pregnant, gives us time to get things ready. 

My doctor is being very rude and annoying with me though about this. Recently all my pee pregnancy test started coming back negative, and I stopped gaining weight. I haven’t lost weight, but I haven’t gain any. My doctor also didn’t do the blood pregnancy test, even though she did a bunch of blood test recently, which really upsets me, because I asked her to. 

My blood test all came back normal though, so I’m fine. My doctor said that there’s a possibility that I’m having pregnancy symptoms and got a positive result is because my period is stuck in me. She prescribed some kind of medication that’s supposed to force it to start since it’s been about 4 months since I’ve had it. 

I honestly feel lied to by my body. Why would it give me a positive test if I’m not pregnant? All the symptoms? I’m just so angry, and even though this obviously isn’t the same as having a miscarriage, I’m kind of having a lot of the same feelings I had when I did have one a few years ago. 

That may sound a little over dramatic, but it’s just how it makes me feel… My body told me I was pregnant, and it turns out I’m most likely not? 

I wish my doctor listened to me and did a blood test, that way I would know for sure. I’m almost done with the prescription of the medication that’s supposed to make me have a period and it still hasn’t started. I also haven’t been feeling cramping or anything. 

Wonder what’s going on with my body. None of this is making sense to me and I’m just feeling angry and confused. J hasn’t really said anything about it except “I know, I’m okay about it to”.  That doesn’t help that much either. 

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Author:

I'm 19, engaged, have aspergers, and I'm​ trying to convince again. I lost my first to a miscarriage. this is my public anonymous diary of my life and journey through a miscarriage and trying to convince.

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